June 2010 Archives

Super 8, from JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg Inception, from the good folks over at the Dark Knight! Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, from Edgar Wright and featuring the pantingly hot Mary Elizabeth Winstead! Grrrrroooowwwwwllllllll! Centurion, surely the best film of its kind since that other film like it! The one with that one guy, and that one scene! Whew! But just not as good as this looks! Twilight, the prepu...the teenage...oh, I can't even fake interest. Next! Tron Legacy! Well, it still has a lot to prove... Undoubtedly more but there ya go!

This time real news, a giant six story tall statue of Jesus was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. It's funny how in situations like this people say not to gleam any religious significance out of this, and yet had it been the porn sign nearby and not the statue there would have been no end to the pontification. Never met a religious person yet who could dish it out AND take it.

The Department of Energy has announced its plans to ration the remaining global supply of helium in light of the critical shortages of this gas. The International Journeyman Order of Clowns and Entertainers (IJOKE) has responded with harsh words, saying that this unfair and biased rationing hurts the "uplifting spirit of clowns and their expanding role in US politics."
Fresh on the heels of this, the French Mime Association (FEMA) announced its plans to steal...

Nah, just joking. The article above is in reference to Helium-3, not the Helium-4 used by crackpot wisenheimers everywhere.

IJOKE. Ha. Seriously.